Voyager's travels (so far)

It was interesting to sit & discuss the life & times of this Voyageur yesterday with a complete stranger yet someone I've come to understand & trust after months of email exchanges while helping in a small way to help them make contact with key people in the NZ industry as part of a documentary about the decriminalisation of the NZ sex industry.

As is always the case when I sit & talk to people who engage on an intellectual & emotionally mature level there was an honest exchange on a broad range of subjects & the interchange was good for this tired old man.

So, what random thoughts were triggered ?

• The conversation was centred around my involvement with the sex industry & my opinions regarding the impact & issues around decriminalisation.
• Several overriding realities of humanity & NZ society were dragged to consciousness:
• New Zealand is still a pioneering culture only roughly 200 years young since the European settlers established a presence & the "cave man" mentality still dominates with some particularly strong male orientated norms deeply entrenched and unfortunately all too often accepted by the women & children on the receiving end. Since my formative years I have been at best uncomfortable, more commonly ashamed of the deeply entrenched values of our society particularly those relating to sex, gender & treatment of others. I've posted elsewhere about my opinions regarding the appalling tolerance of violence as an acceptable outcome.
• Yet we have an overall positive sex industry, but wait there's more !
• Decriminalisation is but one small part of the journey to enlightenment and emotional maturity when it comes to sex, sexuality and emotionally mature treatment of others from all aspects of life's rich tapestry.
• Some more background:
• I hear the feminist groups who seek to erase the sex industry yet some of the best providers I have met have been staunch feminists and lesbians.The industry does not need to be sex or gender negative - social values do that not the professional provision of sexual services. Yes, decriminalisation has improved the opportunity & right for a sex worker to choose including to choose to say no to a client therefore reducing the opportunities for mental, emotional & physical abuse but more is needed & most of that is to do with social norms/values rather than the laws governing commercial sex.
• The church & extremist lobby groups who think they can erase the industry are beneath contempt & ridicule despite the enormous wealth & political power they wield.
• As touched on above, decriminalisation is but one aspect of the changes required. The fact that here in NZ the NZ Prostitutes Collective is so poorly funded compared to the extremist lobby groups who seek to erase them & those they support is a tragedy & unfortunately leaves NZPC having to choose their battles rather than concentrating on support, education and betterment of the industry without fear or favour.
• Face it people, the sex industry has survived thousands of years of the worst organised religion, socially corrupt values and denial by "polite society" can throw at it - it isn't going away legal or not !
• What of this Voyageur's journey to date ?
• I sought the sex industry after too may years in a sexless marriage and needing to understand if sex was still important , more was I still the capable and positive lover/companion I was once told I could be.
• This was long before the internet or open advertising of sexual services.
• I had an interesting encounter with a young yet experienced WG, old school brothel with vinyl squabs but her professional manner left me at ease. Yes dear readers - I was still capable & able to pleasure & please my companion (more on illusion later !)
• Over several years I developed an involvement with the industry, avoiding personal affairs as way too destructive & complicated, learning by default but not yet comprehending one of the key factors in the industry that the sensible punter is as much paying the companion to discretely fade away after the encounter as he is paying for his pleasure.
• For some years I dabbled in fetish, fantasy & BDSM as "safe sex". I learnt a lot about myself, my ability to explore my limits & particularly to read unspoken communication. The absence of sexual content ultimately brought me back to the private escort market that I discovered by chance. (again long before the internet or mainstream newspapers carried sex service ads).
• In the later years of my marriage the industry kept me sane & taught me to value myself, like many punters I suspect I share self image and insecurity issues that are imagined more than real & the sex workers who became friends quickly taught me to erase those false doubts.
• Along the journey I learned much of the world of illusion that is the sex industry, far too many punters mistake the consummate professional performance during a booking as something more than the service/performance it is, I only recall of one who briefly fooled me (or more likely I fooled myself).
• Over the years I have been fortunate to form strong personal friendships with people I have met from the industry either professionally or through mutual friends. These people have trusted me with their deep secrets as I have trusted them with mine & have been the most valuable an trusted people in my life. Equally I have met some of the most destructive people I have ever encountered through the industry yet even they have had a positive impact on my life.
• One of the nice "curses" of becoming involved with the industry is the "intensity addiction" - conversation with so called "normal" people bores me !
• I stopped punting for reasons posted about earlier on this blog. Not financial despite the addiction, more the impact of personal life & sex when you develop a habit of even longer bookings

• Back to decriminalisation:
• Decriminalisation of the sex industry in itself is merely accepting that people going about a perfectly healthy service should not be constantly in fear of arrest or harassment
• Appropriate education, support and safety are paramount.
• People entering the industry need to understand that it is not for the meek, faint hearted or emotionally challenged. There are ugly punters out there and the reality is that sex with random strangers for money takes mental and emotional toughness few really understand.
• There are aspects of the industry that need work. There are sex workers who enter the industry through little choice, particularly the street workers. They need support mechanisms and exit choices as much if not more than other market segments.
• Decriminalisation has had both positive and negative impacts in NZ but the positives far outweigh the negatives and the negatives are mostly to do with society's denial of reality and social norms that are emotionally & morally bankrupt. 
• Support organisations such as NZPC need to be appropriately funded to protect the interests of providers & clients and act as a support and lobby group to better the industry & promote safe and positive professional sex.
• And of this blog & escortsforum which I help moderate ?
• The blog is a narcissistic and personal expression, take or leave it as you see fit.
• Escortsforum is a site I have seen develop over the years, I've met some of the people who have been guardians in the past & its quiet, respectful and industry positive nature is something  I care about so do the limited things I can to ensure that it survives in accordance with the philosophy upon which it was created. 

Yesterday's brief discussion only scratched the surface of the tangled web of thoughts in my head and the many paths I have followed on the journey so far. Be very afraid - there will be more !