Punter predilections of the unwelcome kind

Having had a few days in Wellington catching up with people including Madam Mary & Yana,  I’ve had many industry related discussions so it’s hard to choose the subject for the next post. The tough economic times & unrealistic expectations of too many who see the sex industry as easy money continues to be topical but the tastes, behaviours, good & bad of the punters was a recurring subject hence the title.

I’ll start with a comment I’ll come back to later – “Guys, you are paying money to spend a defined amount of time with a sex worker for a professional service”  There is a clear expectation that you will respect it as exactly that & respond in a respectful and appropriate manner !

Yes, I’m going to be judgemental, some aren’t going to like what I say and some of it is tongue in cheek but there are serious issues in amongst the opinions. It’s hard to rank the pet hates of providers so the list isn’t necessarily in a particular order but maybe they’re in the order that makes my blood boil the most.

I’m also focussing on the negative with the faint hope that by speaking the names of the demons that haunt & hunt within the industry at least some may change their behaviours & more sex workers will call them out. I have no delusions that these situations will ever be eradicated but we can all work towards making the industry that delights & rewards us a better place through open discussion & enlightenment.

Top of the list are those far too common behaviours that are legally rape and/or assault but very rarely get reported to the police let alone prosecuted:

Physical violence & ‘rough sex”

•  I probably place the sadly commonplace attempts to find or force unprotected sex top of my hate list. I just wish every case were reported & prosecuted as rape and assault, just a few publicised instances might help stay some of the punters who seem destined to ruin the lives of so many without a care or any understanding of the havoc they can create. I’ve posted before the sick reality that way too many guys request “doggy style” so that they can try to get away with slipping the condom off. Some are less subtle trying to demand or bribe providers for unprotected sex. Sick fucks one & all. 
• “Rough” clients are more common than the gentle folk care to admit. Stories of rough clients let alone some taking advantage of new entrants particularly the young to express their abhorrent physically violent fantasies are sickening to the core. There are a small group tracked in the industry who quite frankly make your skin crawl, prior to decriminalisation these guys had to literally kill someone before the police paid much attention, at least now the options and the behaviour of the police is far better as are the options for sex worker.

Porn fantasies:

Oh gawd !! The stories I’ve heard of guys who see things on porn movies & think they can/should re-enact what they see with sex workers. Guys, here are a few tips:

• Cum is meant to be contained in a condom for obvious safety reasons & quite frankly I find those asking to “cum on face” etc. are doing so to degrade the person they’re with. And guys – many working girls who allow it are doing so for the money & you probably don’t want to hear what they think of you when you’re gone.
• Clits are meant to be worshipped softly and gently not rasped rough & hard ! Lunging straight for the clit hard & fast is likely to get you a kick in the nuts rather than a “oh yeah baby !!!!” You don’t get to see the camera trickery of porn so stop trying to sandpaper the poor girl’s clit off ! 
• Anal – it hurts (try it yourself & see how you feel about it), & again many are doing it purely for the money but if you’re with someone who is happy to provide the service please be gentle, some of the porn stars (and others) who have regular anal sex end up in adult nappies for life – think about it !
• There are way more but when are people going to realise what goes on behind the camera in the porn industry ? It isn’t pretty plus it’s a choreographed fantasy not reality so learn to tell the difference & treat your companion gently & with dignity & respect !

The hopeless romantics:

Guys, you are paying money to spend a defined amount of time with a sex worker for a professional service not a dating service – get it ? Some don’t !

In return for your money a good sex worker will make you feel like the perfect lover & companion. When the meter has stopped & you’ve gone she’s back to her real life & you don’t exist until you feed the meter again. Harsh I know but that’s the way the condom slips on so get your big head around it as snugly as the little head slips into the condom.

I know of punters who have poured enormous amounts of money compared to their ability to sustain the level of spend to keep seeing the sex worker they think is as equally besotted with them as they are with her. A good professional sex worker will see this happening & either subtly or bluntly put an end to seeing him again. Sadly some will keep milking him until the money is gone then dump him cold as a client.

Boundary breakers:

These punters are quite distinct from the hopeless romantics and in some cases more dangerous on a personal level for the sex workers they choose. They’re the ones who constantly try to cross the personal/professional line. They’re often trying to find out personal details, spend time socially with the “clock not running” & generally invade the personal time of the sex worker.

Some can do this in a positive way adding value & fun to the sex worker’s professional life with both still maintaining the clear definition of the connection but some use the information and access they negotiate in a far more negative, invasive & in rare cases alarming manner. Fortunately the forums & other industry connections have made it easier for sex workers to share information but not all sex workers are active on those media meaning some of the more predatory boundary breakers go undetected.

So, there are dark corners in the garden of delights otherwise known as the world of illusion that is the sex industry. Dark corners will never be eradicated from any situation but they can be managed and contained if we all make an effort to turn the torch of honest debate upon them.

Footnote:  On a related subject Yana's post is a must read, I had thought about including the topic in this post but decided it should wait for another time.